HEY EVERYONE!!

okay, haven't been in here for a long while but for the sake of my wishlist (and to make it easier on my babes), I shall post.

Hmmm.. what would i like for Christmas? I had to think long and hard for these..
Isn't it interesting that when it isn't your birthday or Christmas, you have so many wants. But when the occasion finally comes, all these wants seem to disappear from your head? Maybe it's because you want your gifts to be something special and those wants that you used to have can be bought easily by yourselves.. right?

Okay, i bet you must now be thinking "God dammit! What the hell are you talking about. I have lots of wants and I don't care on what occasion do I receive them as long as I get them!" OR "God dammit! What the hell are you talking about. Get on with your effing wishlist!" But please, humour me as I haven't been in here for awhile.

Now, let's get down to business.

I want:

-a TV
-a leather watch
-my 'Play On' Carrie Underwood CD (you may be wondering why I, Carol Ho, being such a HUGE fan have not gotten it. Well, it's cause so people like YOU can get it for me)
-new specs
-a polariod camera
-a piano

yup- that's about it for now. Please read the following clause VERY carefully-

Please ensure that there are NO DUPLICATES of presents given to me. I will be EXTREMELY UPSET and will NOT do this wishlist ever again.

Keywords: NO DUPLICATES. EXTREMELY UPSET.

I need a break..

i've been feeling like shit for months and i'm so stressed over so many things that i can't think straight...

I need to talk to someone..

i think i have depression..

i think i should seek professional help...

I hate you so much and I will never forgive you.

I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.

just leave.

the trust was lost long ago.

Your heart has hardened. You are are oblivious to everyone and everything around you.
I'm hurting bad and I can only hope my mask doesn't drop off.

I've always known this truth. But i chose to deny it.

When you're down, i'm there.
When i'm down, we're just friends.

It's selfish. The one person you've always given your support to doesn't give you any support when u need it.

Sad to say, but it's utterly disappointing.

I hate you.

Yesterday was my birthday. But i didn't feel special at all. It felt like any normal day to me. I thought that maybe i could feel special and happier on this one day. But i didn't. What's wrong?

Btw, thank you for the balloons. I've never gotten one before. I hope the helium never runs out.

Hopefully tmrw will be a better day.. Maybe this weekend will cheer me up...

Birthday thought:
This must be a bad year for Geminis...

i wish you would start blogging again.

Love makes you do scary things. I used to think why people would be crazy enough to try to kill themselves all for the sake of love; and that no matter what it wasn't worth it. But now I know. Cause at that point in time, u DO think it is worth it and u feel like u lost everything and nothing else matters. You are in so much pain that you feel that there is no other way for it to end except by hurting yourself. You know it is not right and yet you can't seem to control yourself. You can't eat, you can't slp.

And you know what, that's what i'm feeling now and no matter how much i try, it won't go away.

Portia de Rossi and Ellen Degeneres are just so sweet together. Looking at their videos make me happy and sad at the same time.

Here are a few MUST watch videos. Hope they will make u smile like they half did for me.

Portia's practice interview
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvvpaXaemHI&feature=channel_page

Portia's real interview on the Ellen Degeneres Show
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_6D0HNR9HI

Portia and Ellen singing in the bathroom on the Ellen Degeneres Show
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOMCHk86lDM&feature=related

Portia and Ellen playing the Newlywed Game
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6OoJLC0vsI&feature=related

Portia apologising for marrying Ellen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAuRRdzCeC8

P.S. u better watch cause i'm watching u!