as u can see, i'm so pissed right now. i can't wait to move out. all these things just add up and make me wanna go overseas and lead a life of my own even more. i try to control and be nice everytime but i'm beginning to think it ain't worth it. can't be bothered anymore.

exams are coming and i so badly wanna study but i just don't have the mood. fantabulous ain't it?

As usual, i've been too lazy to blog.

ok, quick update, Open Cup, TP team is out. Cuz we lost all the matches! every single one. haha

Celebrated my Grandparent's 60th Wedding Anniversary and my Mum's Birthday. Both fell on the same day, 17th August. i've got tons of pics. but aiya, lazy la. my grandparents are just so cute. my grandma put her arm around my grandfather when we were cutting the cake and singing. hahaa

I went down to Shss for their training today. Terrible~ not even fun to go down. dunno why i bothered. think was just to save Bel. haha. after that, Klang, Jelly and I took a cab down to sentosa. reached there about 2pm. supported Hua Lun's team in the beach competition. They won 2nd! not bad eh.. $500 plus other stuff. I didn't even touch the sand or the ball when i was there. haha.

Met Sperm about 7pm at Novena. Went to visit poor Brandon in hospital. He broke his ankle. wanted to accompany him thoughout the night yest but my mum said they won't let me stay. Anwyay, he went for the operation in the late afternoon. Lasted for more than 3 hours. waited for him and had a little chat with his mum. by the time it was over and he was concious, it was about 9pm. went in to see him till about 11pm then left for home. can't stand it. to see him in so much pain and all. plus he like so lonely in the hospital. haiz. he shud be discharged by monday. hope he recovers well...

I've got a super long weekend! so happy! from last sat till this coming wed, no sch! I had my interview today. So scared k i tell u. luckily i had Claudia to accompany me. havent really talked to her before. so it was kinda nice. anyway, the interview wasn't abt myself or what. The only one was, "Tell me about yourself". Other than that, they asked abt my future, my studies, whether i can remember the stuff i learnt, reading up on the finance section on the newspaper and researching on the internet, etc.... The interviewers were very friendly. felt extremely comfortable in the room. hope i get the job. i like the place and all.

Had Ah pek game today. Sucks la. Don't ever want to play with them anymore. never did anyway. I fell flat on the floor twice trying to save the ball. got my shirt all dirty and dusty. Wongie can still tell us that we don't have respect for the opponent. what BB said was true. The game isn't even helping. Their play and ours are completely different. If the game was so boring and pointless, i rather we find our own entertainment within the team.

Anyone interested in the movie 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' or 'Bewitched' with me? I really want to watch Bewitched. Andrew darling? anyone? LOL

Festival of Praise was fantastic this year. Although BB said it wasn't. Mayb cuz i didn't attend it for a few years already. There was a looooong queue at the indoor stadium before the doors opened. Jam packed. The security lady caught Klang, Bel and me trying to sneak in with BB and made us go the back of the queue. It was terrible........ So hot and stuffy. Plus the air was bad! how i wished i was way taller than everyone to get the good air.

Anyway, The group playing was Hillsongs and Delirious. I liked it. Especially the lead singer of Delirious although his eyes were kinda scary. like black marbles or being possessed. And i loved his voice. I tot that the preaching was rather good. The pastor's from UK. And I had such a good time with Bel and BB who were both sitting beside me in the stadium. haha.

After the preaching, there was this call for those who has not called the Lord as their saviour to go down to the floor. And when i saw the people starting to walk down, tears swelled up in my eyes. The more people that i saw, the more the tears collected. In my heart i really thanked God for them. Just to see so many go down to accept him was really touching. Later, they started singing this song. Not sure what title. But part of the lyrics that i can remember were, "I'm lost" and "I'm desperate" At that moment, when the song was playing, the tears in my eyes came rolling down. I couldn't stop. It just all came out. I really was lost and there was so many things i'm going thru that i haven't told anyone. I was desperate for God. I told him my secrets and everything. God really touched my soul at the rawest moment. Then it hit me. I don't need anyone. He was all that i ever wanted, all that i got, and all that i ever needed. I'm really glad that i went to this year's FOP.

Bel the sleepy monster was hungry after the thing ended so we went to Mac abt 12am. She started talking rubbish. Dunno what abt the eyes being small, that your opponent can't see where u spike cuz your eyes are small. BB and I was like "huh?" totally no link. Opponent sees your hand movement and not your eyes what. hahhaha

Having my interview tml. I did research on the net alittle last night but i'm really scared still. what if they ask what my Strengths were, and i said that i was able to communicate well. But at the same time, I would be stuttering like mad and having anxiety attack. "I...I.. a...am... able... tt..to..to.. co..mu..muni...cate.. we..well...." hahaha.. That would surely be a laugh.

ok! that's it. I'm dead beat now. Night everyone! muacks! =)

You are the only one that could have made me feel so much pain.
You are the only one that could have ever hurt me as much as you did.
You are the only one that could have me blown away at first sight.
You are the only one that could have made me cry.
You are the only one that could have made me so happy no matter what we did.
You are the only one that could have put away all my stupid thoughts the moment i saw you.
You are the only one that could have swept my breath away.
You are the only one that could have lied like a professional and yet i believed you.
You are the only one that could have forgotten me in a month.
You are the only one that could make me feel as though i didn't mean a single thing to you.
You are the only one that could have thorn my heart apart.
You are the only one that could have captured me using those beautiful eyes of yours.


I'm currently sitting in my sch com lab 9 alone. Qian has left me to watch her Prince charming in action. think i'll most probably stay in the lab for abt 2 to 3 more hours.

Anyway, the TP woman called me. She informed me that my SIP company wants me to go down for an interview at FPA Asset Management on Monday. So freakin' scared. What if i cock up? what if i don't get the attachment? will i fail? what if i point my middle finger at the lady after the interview like i did at the life bookshop? so many what ifs. I'm really scared.. How i wish someone would accompany me to interview. Too bad Qian's not free..... =(

Theme of post: LOST

My team Hommacide lost yesterday's SPIKE beach vball yest. We got kicked out in the top 8. But at least i really made fun in the sun and stuff. Although at certain points in time, the sand was freakin' hot. Chilled out till it was quite late at sentosa then went for dinner with Qian and BB. Fukang joined us.

As for today, we lost again. This time to Red Team. Consist of those SAJC and some ex-jurong Sec players. So disappointed in myself in the first set. I was so scared inside. It's like my first time playing setter in a competition. Super duper scared. So scared that i will double when i set. But slowly i got the hang of it. Lost the game 3-1. But i'm really glad for the match. Was kinda like a bonding session. Enjoyed the team's company alot.